Guess who’s back

As many of you know, I came back to the Netherlands a few weeks ago. It was almost as surprising to me as I’m sure it is to you. I really didn’t think it would be possible. I have a residence permit so of course I was allowed back to the country, but financially it didn’t seem possible.

Then my dad told me on May 2 that if I wanted to go back, I should just go back. He so very generously bought my ticket back with his Delta points and five days later I was on a plane to Amsterdam. (Really, shout out to my dad here. He’s the best)

My mom was a little worried about this, and to be honest there was a little doubt in my mind as well. The what if’s began to circle my mind. What if I get the virus on the plane? What if I unknowingly infect my friends when I see them? What if I’m part of the problem? I was also scared to be judged for my decision. My friends and family were in support of it, but it’s taken me awhile to just come out and say it in a post. That’s kind of why I’m just now writing this on May 27.

I’m not going to lie, the first week back was hard. Jet lag kicked my butt and without a class schedule or any reason to get up before noon, it was hard to be productive. It also took that week to get integrated again with my friends here. They had spent a month and a half together, learning how to live through this and getting closer than ever. So there were times in that week when I wasn’t invited to do things only to see them later on instagram stories. And it made me wonder why I came back if I wasn’t going to get invited to do things.

I also felt this incredible pressure not to waste my time here. I had two months on the clock and I just couldn’t waste a minute. This led to a lot of self inflicted stress and anxiety and it wasn’t healthy at all. It’s not fair to tell yourself that every second you’re not doing something is wasting time.

After that first week back, though, it felt like it was back to normal. I was seeing people every day, we started movie nights, meals together sometimes, going for bike rides. My best friend over here, Karen, and I are on the same page again and we hang out pretty much every day. Life is good here again. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

I’ve thought multiple times in the past week, “Today was a perfect day.” One night, Karen, Jan, Griffin and I biked to the canal to have some drinks and chill. It was a perfect night.

Or yesterday. Karen and I decided to get up early and get everything done in the morning–breakfast, work out, assignments, etc. Then in the afternoon we tanned and relaxed. Later we bought a pizza and brought it to the park near us to meet up with some friends. It was another perfect day.

We started making reservations for restaurants when they open June 1. We already have several meals planned including a night in Amsterdam at a SkyLounge at sunset and I cannot wait.

Also little sidebar for those who read my sports articles: I have an incredibly exciting opportunity coming up. My “classes” this block is a newsroom to put together an online magazine. We all took positions and pitched feature stories and we were off. It’s a little different than it should be because of the coronavirus, but we are making the best of it. Anyway, I’m writing my story about how the coronavirus is impacting women’s professional football teams in the Netherlands. I emailed about every club and only got one response. They sent me a trainer’s number so I called just to feel it out. Turns out I had the head coach’s number (head coach in Dutch is hoofdtrainer). He was so nice and now I am going to one of their trainings in Rotterdam to take photos/video and interview players. I never thought this would happen but I’m so excited. More updates to come on that after June 3.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know the sunsets here have been brilliant as ever. Here’s the one from my first night back–I took it as a good sign 🙂

Until next time.